5 Steps for Men to Create a Romantic Virtual Date Night: Mac Stanley Cazeau; LMHC & Couples Therapist

 

The COVID-19 Pandemic has forced all of us into Quarantine mode. All over America we are told to stay home. Well, for those that are dating and not living together, quarantine is not the most ideal situation. We are still craving the intimacy of seeing one another and feeling close to our partner. With the desire to keep the flames going, virtual date nights seem to be the most common practice. Well known apps such as Zoom, FaceTime, and Skype have become staples for date nights. Listed below are 5 steps for men to create a romantic virtual date night.

 

1.       Schedule it through a calendar invite

 

Truthfully, women appreciate a man that can take the lead and plan ahead. It shows that the man is thinking of her. The calendar invite must also include a short message providing necessary information and building excitement for date night. 

 

For example:

 

“Hey Gorgeous, I'd love for you to join me on Wednesday at 9:00 pm for a Romantic Virtual date night via Zoom. I have something special planned for us and I'm sure you will enjoy it. Everything will be taken care of. Please be ready for an amazing evening, further details will be provided, see you soon! 

 

2.       Prepare for date night

 

Step 1 was about creating anticipation and getting her excited for the date. Step 2 is preparation. Have meal arrangements and decorative pieces such as: candles, wine glasses, a nice tablecloth, and your favorite flowers. Personally, deliver the meal and other items to her address with a handwritten note that reads, “I can’t wait to see you 😘”

 

3.       Create the space

 

Now that you have provided her with the materials, follow up with an email detailing how she should create the space. The goal is a romantic date night and you must ensure that the atmosphere follows suit.

 

For example:

 

“Hey gorgeous! Are you as excited about date night as I am? (insert your favorite emoji)

I need your help in creating a very romantic atmosphere. I delivered everything you will need. If you can please follow the details below, it will feel like I am there with you:

 

1- You will find a white tablecloth, please spread it over the table

 

2- Light the candle and put it to your right and I will put mine to my left. This way, nothing will obstruct our view of one another.

 

3- You will also find a bottle of wine, please pour yourself a glass. Based on my research, this wine will complement the meal we are sharing very well. 

 

4- I brought your favorite flowers, they smell incredible just like you, please place them to the far left of the table. 

 

5- I got us Caesar salads with bread sticks as appetizers, the entree is your favorite, Shrimp Linguine. I also included some of my lasagna for you, I know you always want some of my food. I thought ahead! 

 

6- I texted you a link to a playlist that I created for the date night; it has your favorite songs. Play it from your phone or a speaker, whichever you prefer.

 

I miss you and I look forward to seeing you.”

 

4.       Create Intimacy early 

 

Per Dr. Gottman, intimacy is everything you do right in a 24-hour period. Therefore, ensure that you guys are connecting early and throughout the day. Begin with your morning texts, your check ins, carry on your usual conversations and meme sharing. Two hours before date night begins, ask her to start listening to the playlist, pour some wine and get ready for an amazing night. 

 

5.       Intentionally communicate

 

The dialogue during date night is very important. It is an opportunity to learn more about one another, enhance the friendship, and develop new connections. I recommend open ended questions that allow for more information sharing and follow up questions. The key to connecting with a partner is moving away from surface level topics and having deep, meaningful, and emotional conversations. 

 

Here are 5 questions to get you started:

 

1.       What is one thing that you have always wanted to ask me but have yet to do so?

2.       If you could be someone else for 1 week, who would it be and why?

3.       If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? 

4.       What is one misconception people have of you? Of us as a couple?

5.       What is your favorite memory of us?

Bonus Question: What is the biggest lesson you have learned in life thus far? And why was it so meaningful?

 

·         Recap & Plan

 

As date night comes to an end, you want to ensure that you verbalized what you have learned about your partner thus far. You also want to thank her for being open and expressive and allowing you to understand her a lot more. Secondly, you want to discuss the next date night. Maybe for next time, you ask her to plan the date. Lastly, I suggest that you end date night by looking into each other’s eyes for one minute. This act allows you to further connect, eases the mind, body, and soothes the heart. It is also a virtual way of being emotionally and physically close without being physically with one another. 

 

Date nights are all about creativity, and virtual date night is simply expanding on creativity. May you continue to build and enhance your relationship with your partner by making time for one another and being intentional with your actions. 

 

Until next time,

Your favorite Therapist

Mac Stanley Cazeau (IG: @talk2mac_therapist)